You know, i've always thought of cancer that it a was an horrible and unfair disease,
but yet I couldn't really picture how it feels to know someone that has to fight this illness.
Maybe I was just blinded by my own miraculous healing of some mortal event 3 years ago, and
I thought that maybe with a lot of effort, and a lot of will, and with everyone's presence and smile,
well maybe I though human was kind of invicible regarding diseases.
Or maybe I thought that whatever the disease it was, that person I know would actually overcome it
and always win the fight as it always used to be.


To be honest, I never thought that I was to meet cancer so soon and so close in my life.
I would'nt have thought that it could actually hit someone that close to me, that important.
I just can't help it but being angry about life and science for letting this event happen in my life
so soon and so abruptly. I've always tought of that person as the most courageous being I've ever met,
the most understanding, and probably the most important person in my life that because I wouldn't be alive if she wasn't here.

She received a diagnosis of random cancer(Doctors never found where it was from, it was just there) on may 29th 2009, not even 2 months ago. I first thought it was the end, because the only thing I've heard about cancer is death. But then I've gone to a walk for cancer funding, and I've seen people who
has actually win against that disease, and so I became a little hoping. I was hoping for her to cure, and
even if not, well at least to continue to live some months, and maybe some years. Because she was
the greatest fighter I knew, and she kept smiling even though she was sick

So it gave me the power to smile back at her.

On june 29th, I had a phonecall from my aunts, which were with her, about that she didn't have more than
one week so far to live. I couldn't believe it. How did that happen? Why?

My mother died on july 3rd, she was nearly conscious of what were happening around her, she had so much drugs in her veins she couldn't even open an eye, and she could barely breath all day long.
She was 50 years old.

I can't help it but trying to find a reason to it, but I think even if I was catholic I couldn't find one.

I can't help it but trying to believe that she is in a better place now, and if not, well that at least she doesn't suffer anymore.

I'm not angry at her for leaving me alone in this world, with my sister and my brother, but can't help it but thinking she didn't deserve to die that young, and to suffer so much as she left this world.





Well, I know I'm on internet right now, and that most of the people here don't care anyhow about my little stupid life,
but if you could spare juste a little thought for the woman my mother was, well I'd be really happy.



[link]



I love you mom, I just keep crying right now, and I know it would make you very sad.
I will get over it, and somehow I will find the power to look at the pictures you left me and smile at them.

À la meilleure maman du monde, Jacinthe Boutin












Clubs~°








-----------@------@-------------------@----@-----@-----------
-----------@-----@--------------------@--@-----------------
-----------@@@----------@-@-------@@---------@------------
-----------@-----@-----@----@------@-@--------@------------
-----------@------@-----@-@---@--@----@-----@----------